Just hanging out on the doorstep

I packed up my life today, so that it could be shipped on a train to my new city. I had no idea that the life I had amassed here would fit into 9 boxes and action packers. Anyway, I live on the 5th floor, so lugging NINE overstuffed trunks down those flights of stairs was quite a workout. It was made worse because of the smell of open sewage that was suffocating me as I walked down the stairs. By the time that I made it to the ground floor, I was practically gagging; I had never smelled that horrible of an odor. I wasnt really paying attention to my surroundings, but when I came out of the stairwell, I oculdnt help but notice what was at my feet. There was an old man, curled up in the grass to the right of my doorway. He smelled, not nearly as bad as the sewage, but strong enough where I could notice him. His clothes were torn and ragged and he was using all of his possessions as a pillow. Now, this scene isnt unusual here, as sad as that is to say, but for some reason, the circumstances surrounding this man just broke my heart. This man was trying to sleep in the middle of a busy parking lot, with the sewage running right by his head, bees and flies swarming all around, passerbys looking at him with much disdain, and dogs using the bathroom at his feet. We're pretty lucky.

Growing up's not as easy as it looks

I’ve had to act like a grown up lately, and to be honest, that isn’t a role that I have readily embraced. Even though I’ve been around long enough to understand that grown ups aren’t perfect, I still had the gross misconception that they always acted like adults, just because of the position they were in. Well, I was wrong! I was very disappointed by this at the first realization of it, and wrestled a lot with the idea. Here is the situation: I heard very clearly from the Lord that I was supposed to make a move to a different situation. I spent time seeking Him, waited for Him to give clear word, and then believed that this word was enough to allow me to follow through with what He said.
Well, imagine my surprise when I was met with very strong opposition to the word of the Lord. Now, I know it is not nearly as severe as the opposition that Noah felt, but I did get a sense of what it was like for people to think you were crazy. Some of my leadership didn’t feel the same way. I got very bitter, and really fought with the Lord over this issue. “Why would you give me such clarity and confidence if it was going to be met with such opposition? Why would Godly men not hear from You? Why would this not be easy; after all, its your will?” These were some of my big questions.
God and I did a lot of talking during this time, and He was able to get His point across. Here is what He said.
“The voice of the Lord is powerful. The voice of the Lord is full of majesty.” Ps 29:4 In the moments that followed me reading that, I realized, there was nothing that the voice of the Lord didn’t control.
*It controls my friends that have no interest in Him or His word,
*it controls the government of the country that I live in that passes crazy laws that make it hard for me to live here
* It controls the waters of a tsunami and the winds of a hurricane
* And yes, it even controls my boss, who at first conversation was not willing to let me follow the calling of the Lord.

Nothing external changed immediately after I read that passage, but huge things changed on the inside. My voice will never be as powerful as the voice of the Lord. NEVER! No matter how loudly I yell, or how many people I get the chance to speak in front of. I do believe that one person can change the world, but I also believe that the only way to do that is to trust that when God tells you He is going to do something, that He really is going to do it! The end of my story is simple- the mind of the man who was so adamantly against me moving has allowed me to go. And man, has God gotten some serious glory from this entire situation. Even though it would have been much easier on me if he would have allowed it immediately, I would not have learned anything from the situation. God allowed this very sticky, painful, and grown up situation to happen so that He could receive glory from this, so that He could test my faith, and so that His power over the most stubborn of people could be exercised.

Desperation

Desperation makes people do crazy things. I started thinking about this while I was looking out my window one morning, watching three men dig through the dumpsters that are outside of my house. They had huge carts with them, and were not digging for things to sell, they were digging for food to survive. Now, the likelihood that these men were drug addicts or alcoholics is very great, but the fact still remained that they were willing to dig through the trash just to find something to eat. The dumpsters aren’t nice places. I usually run past them while holding my breath as to avoid the repugnant odor that radiates from the trash. Probably 200 families use these five cans, and even with trash pickup about three times a week, there is hardly ever a time that bugs, bees, and the foulest of odors doesn’t overtake you.
I’ve never been hungry enough to dig through anything to find food; and if I’m honest, I’ve never been hungry enough to even eat leftovers, but there are times where I have felt the desperation that is similar to the kind these men must feel. I had that experience the other night. I had been throwing up for the past 5 hours, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was desperate for anything that would make it stop. I sent a text message to a friend, asking them to bring a gun over, and while I would have never used it, I felt, in that moment, that there was nothing else that could have made the misery that I was feeling better. It was only after I had tried 2 different medicines and several mom’s with different opinions that it occurred to me that maybe prayer would help this situation. So I prayed, as earnestly as I have ever prayed, that I would NEVER THROW UP AGAIN! I would love to say that I wasn’t sick any more after that, but that is not the case, but there was something so therapeutic about the act of praying.
I am almost embarrassed to say that it was a last resort, to even think about praying, but I hope that there comes a time when it becomes my default, the thing I do before I do anything else. Some of my favorite passages in the Bible deal are the ones when people cry out to God with all that they have; sometimes there is the expectation that HE will fix the situation, but often times, it is just the idea that God hears their prayers and takes part in their suffering with them.

Nature!!

I didnt know that I liked nature that much- until I moved here and realized that the only source of entertainment that was appropriate was to be outside! Plus, the view from my window is incredible! Here is one of my favorite pictures. enjoy!

You Put Your Right Foot In...

You put your right foot out, you put your right foot in and.... (sing it with me now) you shake it all about! I got the privilege of teaching an English camp to 10-13 yr olds who were native Russian speakers but who had had some introduction to English. Basically, this meant that they were supposed to have some concept of the language- some idea about words, sentences, basic stuff. They kind of did.
I'm letting you into a big secret, but my default when I teach is always to sing. Poeple love to sing silly songs, and I love to act a fool, so it is a perfect match. We had talked about prepositions and also about body parts, so I thought this would be the perfect way to practice. SO I stood them up and began the song that had usually been reserved for skating rink brithday parties. But it was a hit! Some things just translate. I mean, how could you really translate "HOKEY POKEY" into Russian anyway!