Just Call Me Betty...

Crocker that is... The past few weeks have been a huge challenge in domesticity; everything from cooking turkeys and chickens, to making pumpkin bread and apple cobbler from scratch, to serving tea and coffee until the cows come home. I thought that I could at least win an honorable mention at the Martha Stewart domestic goddess competition, and then I had the experience catalogued in the pictures. Thats right... washing dishes in the bathtub! Now, I dont know if you at home have tried it, but if you havent, I suggest trying it. It is amazing how much quicker it goes when you can line them all up and spray them with the shower hose! I mean, who even needs a dishwasher? I recommend those of you who are reading this to try it... I think it might jsut change your life

The Money Pit

You remember that movie where Tom Hanks buys that house that is a disaster and spends a ton of money fixing it up? Well, fact is stranger than fiction... and I live in the money pit!

Okay, here is the story: Two of my teammates, one who worked construction one summer, decide that they can fix it! They show up at my house with three plungers, that look like Grammy awards, and an idea that if we plunge each drain in my house at the same time, my drainage problem will be fixed! I dont know how to plunge things, so Phil gave me a lesson in plunging. He filled the sink with water and lightly pressed down on the sink. As soon as that happened, the sink fell out of the wall! The water came with it, and began to pour onto the floor. Here are some pictures of the mess! Read below for the rest of the story!

Ahh... this was my face when I saw the sink fall off the wall! Nice huh??
This was my pathetic attempt at mopping up the mess. It didnt work so well.
Okay, turn your head sideways, and imagine the mess down the hall. All the way into the bedroom... oh yeah! It was funny!

Okay, so after I picked myself off the floor, I composed myself and the guys began to remodel my kitchen sink! It now drains perfectly! Who would have thought?

More thoughts on the Compleat Gent

Okay... so even though it wasnt posted on my blog, I received quite a bit of feedback about my post on the disappearance of the gentleman. Most of this came in the form of conversations, and I have to admit, I didnt even consider their very vaild complaints while writing my previous post. But, because I like to be fair, and their arguments held quite a lot of weight, I write the other side to the gentleman.

This was the complaint that all of the guys that I talked to had. Its to all of the ladies that read this post. LET THE MEN BE GENTLEMEN!!!. I can honestly say that I had no clue that this was a problem; because, for any of you who know me at all, I have no problem letting a guy exercise and practice the art of being a gentleman! But apartently, there are many girls out there who feel that they are too independent, too much of a bother, too unworthy to have a guy treat them like that.

But here is the truth- You are not too independent. Just by proxy of being created as a woman, you have a God given need and desire to be taken care of and protected by men. For my friends who are reading this and scoffing, it has nothing to do with your intellectual capabilities or your ability to handle yourself in tough situations. Instead, it has everything to do with the being that you are. AND, when you act within the confines of who you are, you allow the guy to act the way that they were created to act as well!

More truth: You are not being a bother. Contrary to what most of the popular media says, you are not being a bother. Instead, you are appearing more charming, more alluring, more beautiful. And beleive it or not, guys actually want to do this for you. Now this isnt the case across the board, but more often than not, guys want to act right. Its only after many women chastise them for trying to be nice do they stop.

Final nugget of truth: You are not too unworthy either. You are worth this. The things that are included in being gentlmanly arent huge things, but they make a huge difference. And you, as a woman, as a person, are worth these things.

Okay. The last thing the guys that I talked to pointed out, was that I wasnt really quick to point out many gentlemen that I have been blessed to know. So here goes a quick list. I'm pretty lucky, so mine is pretty long. My dad, my grandfathers (both of them), my uncle Sid, many men from my home church, several guys that I went to college with, the men that I work with over here... Each of them, and I didnt name the people within the larger categories, have left an indelible mark on who I am, and also have set the standard very high for the man that will be my husband. So thanks for being gentleman- at a time when its not really cool. And girls, I'll say it again- Let the men that want to be this way be!

Your thoughts on this one would be appreciated... and not only just to me. Please post them for everyone to read.

no bread, banned books, good life

I love history. I've always enjoyed it. One of my favorite things about it has always been imagining the people that were a part of each historical event. While each book of history always includes a retelling from a certain perspective of the events, there is something about that firsthand retelling that sticks with me. I will remember forever the stories from the Holocaust; not only because they were chillingly evil, but also because they have been recounted to me in person by people who were actually there. I was never in Vietnam either, but some war heroes' dramatic stories about the delicate balance between self preservation and murder can transport me there instantly. And I've never walked the deserted and arid streets of Darfur, but sitting for hours with people who have been a part of that struggle from the beginning gives me a piece of ownership in that tragedy.

Today I spent time with two of my favorite women here; one, in her early 40's has become like a mother to me. She is very well educated and has spent the majority of her life working very hard for everything that she has gotten. The second woman is in her early 60's. She, like the first lady, is quite educated and has a huge bank of book knowledge from which she pulls often. She also works hard, but she has not had quite as many opportunities as the first lady. Today, as I met with each of them separately, we discussed life in the USSR, during the Perestroika, and after the USSR fell. Here are some of the highlights.

With regard to Books: Both women talked about the value of books. While most of them were banned during the 80's, these women went to great lengths to find illegal books, just for the purpose of strengthening the mind. They, to this day, have a love for books that is unlike many that I have known. They had to work hard for their jaunts into fiction. There's was not an easy stroll to the local Barnes and Noble or to the city library. Instead, it was a long trail of dark alleys and friends of friends. Each one distributing not just words on a page, but the chance to continue learning, the chance maybe to escape, the chance for just a moment to be famous, or great, or just content with life. I thought that in our day of tv, and everything being made into a film, that this was very interesting.

With regard to life then: It was hard. I dont think I realized how recently the people that I spend the majority of my time with had to fight with neighbors for slices of bread- an amount that was supposed to last for the entire month, for the entire family. I dont think I fully understood the idea of suffering and struggling for EVERYTHING that a family had. There were no new clothes, no surprise trips to the candy story, no asking mom or dad to buy something extra at the market. There was nothing; there was no money; there was no way to get money because it hadnt been printed yet. There was no system in place to stabilize anything. People did what they had to do to survive. When I asked each lady what that meant, they both got very quite. I'm sure it didnt mean life or death situations, but for two women, both of whom feel very comfortable with me, to go silent, it couldnt have been pretty.

With regard to life now: They have an incredible amount of faith and hope in the future. It cant get any worse than not being able to eat for days.

I walked away from those two conversations extremely tired. These two women are beautiful; the lines on their faces that before our conversations today just indicated older age now are markers of a life of struggle, and a triumph over oppression and looming defeat. These women have worked hard for everything- the right to proudly embrace their ethnicity, the right to live in a country that is controlled by them, even the right to work. But more than that, they have worked oh so hard to maintain the beauty that is intrinsic in a true woman.

What is my point? I know that my last few posts have been ramblings... I think my point is this: I'm starting to understand struggle, not in terms of my own reality, because in that realm I really have little of my own struggle to offer, but in terms of the sufferings of others. I spent the rest of the day in quiet humility. What a blessing it has been to have been sheltered from a life of overt pain and hardship. So what that my apartment is broken: So what that the heat doesnt work and the whole place floods... I have food on the table (and in the refrigerator, and in the cabinets, and on top of every surface...), I can buy bread. So no complaints from this Southern girl who is living in Central Asia... I have no right

more musings on the COMPLEAT GENT!

I took four retired Americans to the bazaar today. It was quite an experience. Me, being the respectful, lover of older people that I am, I gave them every opportunity to back out of this trip. It wasnt that I wasnt looking forward to the bazaar, its my favorite place in the city; its just that I wasnt sure how they would do. A typical bazaar day is bad enough, but Sundays provide an entire new set of challenges. It is the only day that local people dont work, so they ALL go shopping there on Sundays. It is also the day when the local vendors there restock; so the aisles (think more paths between looming metal racks) are crowded with carts and merchandise, with men behind them pushing their way through.
But these four troopers didnt back down. They had decided they were going to the bazaar, so we were going to go to the bazaar, even if it killed us. Well, the first few aisles we went down were fairly tame, my teammate was with me, so he took a younger guy and one of the older women, and I took two of the older people and another guy. We had a good system. Yell, loudly, if you wanted to stop at a stand; otherwise we were pressing on... just trying to make it to the other side. We had some success; I bought a hat and another lady bought one as well. I was maneuvering our way to the main road so that we could leave when the trouble came.
We turned down the main aisle, and all looked okay. It was crowded, but no more so than the other ones we had been down. So my teammate led the charge down the aisle. He was halfway through and we were just starting when the trouble began. This was a main aisle, so it was wider than the others. It was the one that they use for transporting carts full of merchandise from one place to another. It was made to hold maybe two carts plus foot traffic, but in a country where everything that is made is used in a way different than the original intention, it usually holds one extra cart.
Somewhere between our first steps down that aisle and the light at the end of the tunnel, we encountered pure chaos. I now understand the mob mentality. When one person panics, an entire crowd panics. Literally, in less than two minutes, we went from a crowded but manageable place to a place of shear panic and confusion. They were trying to force four carts down the aisle, plus the impatient crowd that had formed was also trying to force its way around the cards. There was just no room. So there I was, with three older people, two of which are women, trying to protect them from thieves, from incoming carts with sharp objects on them, from losing feet or toes to the wheels, and from getting trampled and hurt during this madness. It was crazy; and I'm not sure that I have ever been in a situation that was that out of control. The crowd was completely out of control, fights were breaking out, people were screaming, crying, yelling, pushing, falling... it was stinkin crazy. The entire thing probably lasted about 10 minutes, us finally pushing our way through the madness to finally get to the street. We all made it physically unscathed.
It was incredible though. I was certain that the day was over after this disaster, that there was no way we were going to be able to go anywhere. But was that the case, not at all. They were less affected by the whole thing than I was. So onward we went. Needless to say, we left the main bazaar, but none of their plans were going to be thwarted by our near death experience. It was cool... Paca

the compleat gentleman

I've been reading this book, The Compleat Gentleman, by Brad Miner, and it has raised some interesting questions. A teammate lent me this book, in response to my many comments about how men should be gentleman. See, I have this other teammate that is from the North (South Dakota), and he is always asking me to teach him about "culture", about things that gentleman do. Anyway, so his roommate gave me this book, which I opened with low expectations.
I'm about 100 pages into it; and so far, it has been fascinating. It is chronicling the history of the gentleman, from the early Middle Ages and the time of the knight, to the Renaissance and the idea of the New Man, given to us by Castiglione in The Courtier, to the "gentleman" who were the founding fathers of the United States. The author has given many different criteria for being a "compleat gentleman"; from social status, to religious devotion, to philanthropy... I'm not sure that I am far enough into the book to know his final criteria.
However, I am far enough to have stumbled over this quote, which got me thinking about the gentleman in my life, or more than that, the gentleman that exist in society today. Here is the quote:
"If it (chivalry) should ever be totally extinguished," writes Edmund Burke, " the loss I fear will be great."
Is chivalry dead? Has it been extinguished? Has our society traded in teaching our men to be "Renaissance men" of sorts for teaching them to cheat and steal their way to the top of the corporate ladder? Or has the idea of a gentleman been trumped with the idea of a Hollywood's macho man?
Here are my thoughts: According to the author of the book, society has always been the main educator for all things gentleman. There was always a gentleman for a young man to look to, someone to model his life after. They were accessible, observable and willing to invest in young lives. I'm not sure that we can leave this task to society anymore. Instead, we need to use our homes as training grounds for these little guys. Maybe it starts with the dad treating all the women in his life with the utmost respect, or with the dad setting an example for living a righteous life, or even with a dad spending time wrestling with his boys on the floor.
I'm not sure what it looks like practically, but I know that I want gentlemen to be around for my grandkids. I know that I want my husband to be a gentleman, not just in the sense that he holds doors for me and stands up when I leave the table, but in the truest sense of the word. I know it is strange for me to be talking about raising little boys to be gentlemen, but I think the point is simple; its just that we cannot let the ideas that being polite, that caring first about others and last about ourselves, that women were created by God to be esteemed become obsolete, something that only our grandparents did a long time ago.
Thoughts on this topic would be awesome... I dont think I have the answer.. I'm not even sure that I have the question at this point...

And the award goes to... part 2

Its official. The ballots have been turned in, the votes have been counted. A representative from the accounting firm of Young, Smith and Jones is waiting in the wings to bring the envelope on stage...
The award for the worst landlord of the year (and quickly becoming the century) goes to...
EMILY'S LANDLORD!!!
Now who saw that coming? Isnt it a surprise? Some new apartment stories.
1. My electric meter doesnt work correctly, because my landlord rigged it so that he wouldnt have to pay for electricity. Well, all was well until the meter reader came by yesterday. Whoops on that one. When he doesnt pay by the 13th of November, they are turning off my electricity. If this happens, please say a quick prayer, as I think I will have a slight breakdown!
2. Heat- still not on in one room (That room being my bedroom!) At this point though, at lease my bed doesnt have bugs in it!
3. I cant use my sink or my washing machine. They are linked to the same set of pipes, and those pipes have the propensity for flooding my apartment. The people that are supposed to fix this only do this once they have been paid, which of course, because my landlord won the award, he hasnt done!
I think I could go on for quite awhile, but its not really worth it. Plus this has been character building!

And the award goes to...

This past week I had the privilege to attend the 10th anniversary of the school that I work for. Let me be clear, this wasnt even the anniversary for the entire school, only for the lyceum. Now, in the States, a 10th anniversary isnt a big deal, but here... oh, I dont think I can paint a fair picture! We have a team here also, so I took four of the team members along with me. They wanted a cultural experience. Haha, they got what they asked for! Okay, lets see if I can do it justice.
First, the building. the rented out Congress Hall, which if in America the equivalent might be the MET in New York city or the Ford theater in Washington. I have no idea how much this thing cost, but it couldnt have been cheap. Each student in the lyceum (the private school part of the public school) was required to attend and they had to buy a brand new outfit to participate. The outfit was simple white collared shirt for both guys and girls, and black pants or skirt. The girls dressed up their outfits a bit; they added white bow like things to their hair, although when they were added you could hardly see their faces!
Okay, to the ceremony. We took seats in the massive hall and began to watch a light show that took place on the curtains. They started late, of course (it wouldnt be KZ unless they did); with a song and dance number that the whole school was involved in. It really was incredible, and we thought at that moment we were in for a treat. But it was just a tease; for the next hour and a half the principal (or direction as he is called) passed out awards to every teacher who has even walked in the school doors. People got awards for everything , from being a good teacher to having a great haircut. And did we see the kids again... NO! That was the entire reason we were there, to watch the kids.
After 2 hrs of "Awards" with seemingly no relief in sight, I found one of my students and asked how long this was supposed to last. She smiled and said that at the earliest, it might be over at 7. Lets remember, it started at 4. I smiled politely at her and then my guests and I staggered our exits and hit the door running!
I got to thinking though, if we would have been in America, this would have been so much different. The program would have been all about the kids, with little or no recognition given to the teachers. The kids would have been dressed up, but most would not have put much care into what they wore. I love the focus that we as Americans put on our children, but the people here might have something, truly honoring their elders and those who teach. The students from the school sat patiently during this entire thing; I must admit, we were the ones that couldnt sit quietly.
I'm not sure that either way is 100% right or wrong, but I think that combining the two would bode very well, not just for school assemblies, but for the value systems that we are trying to instill and hold on to. Children are a gift from God, but the wise also hold sweet status with our Father... thoughts?